Saturday, January 10, 2004
January 11, 2004
Mr. Howard Stringer
Chief Executive Officer
Sony Corporation of America
550 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10022
Dear Mr. Stringer,
Does Sony make a TV with a High-Impact-Resistant Screen? If so, I would like to order one right away.
Please bare with me while I give you a little background: First, I should tell you I am a Patriotic American. I love my country and raise the flag (American) every day in front of my house. I pay my taxes and I was proud of my President for giving us a tax cut--I didn’t get very much back, but that wasn’t the point--I’m sure you got a lot back, and that’s good for America! I love my President more than life itself--I think he’s the Number One American of all time--or at least in the Top Ten.
I’ve had a problem the last year--it all began when I would see my President on the news, and all of a sudden out of nowhere, I’d yell out a swear word. At first, I didn’t even know it was me who said it! But it kept happening more and more, and when my grandson Lester heard me, I knew I needed to get some help. I went to the doctor, and he gave me a tranquilizer to take a half hour before the news, and for a while things seemed to be getting better.
But last week, I was watching my President stepping off Air Force One, and when he waved, I threw my bowl of popcorn at the TV. Fortunately, the only thing that hit the TV was the popcorn, but the bowl broke when it hit the wall. The next day, I saw my President sitting in a circle at a women’s group, and out of nowhere, I threw a pork chop at him! I looked in horror to see grease all over my President’s face, but seconds later, the grease was on Dan Rather!
It’s getting worse--last night I threw the remote. Fortunately, it wasn’t a direct hit, but I dented the side of the TV and smashed the remote to smithereens. I’m going to go back to the doctor, but until I get to the bottom of this, I need a new TV. Do you have one that can withstand flying plates? Shoes? Baseballs? I know you’re probably busy, but please respond quickly--my President’s State of the Union Speech is coming up, and I don’t know if my TV can survive. Also, God willing, he’ll be re-elected this year, and then I know I’ll need a stronger TV. Also, can I order a new remote?