Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Advisor to the President
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington DC 20500
Dear Mr. “Boy Genius” Rove,
Team Bush has got “The Vision Thing!” I can see why President Bush nicknamed you “Boy Genius.” I bet you were a genius even when you were a boy! You probably had your whole school registered Republican by the time you got out of kindergarten! The teachers too!
Some people have “The Vision Thing,” some people don’t. “41” (Bush Sr.) didn’t have it. “43” (George W.) does. But this Mars plan has that rare blend of vision and genius that has your name written all over it, Mr. Karl “Boy Genius” Rove! It takes VISION to mastermind a plan where “43” can kick off the election year by telling us we’re going to Mars--but we won’t have to pay a dime! Well--only a billion dollars while he’s president, and then another 499 billion after he leaves office!
With your VISION, you’ve devised a scheme where “43” gets to ride the rocketship straight to re-election, he gets to look “Kennedy-esque” for leading us into the Cosmos where no man has ever gone before, everybody loves him because he cut our taxes again and again, and he’s America’s Most Admired Man because he stood up to terrorism and bombed Afghanistan back to the Stone Age and bombed Iraq back to Afghanistan!
That was the VISION part. But here’s the GENIUS part: When “43” leaves the White House, there will be a few problems: We will have at least a $500 billon deficit and owe at least another $500 billion on the war, and the bills are going to come start coming in for the $499 billion balance we owe on the Mars trip. But your ace in the hole, Mr. Karl “Boy Genius” Rove, is you know that Hillary Clinton is going to be elected president in 2008! The beauty of the plan is stunning! “43” gets to walk away from the train wreck, the country will be $1499 billion in debt, and the Clintons will get stuck with the bill!
It’s so rare that geniuses get recognized in their own time. I just want to say--I get it. I’m in awe.
Carl “Pen Pal” Estrada