Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Friday, January 23, 2004
Mr. Charles Duelfer
Iraq Survey Group (ISG)
Central Intelligence Agency
Washington, D.C. 20505

Dear Mr. Duelfer,

Now we’re getting somewhere! I knew all along that David Kay wouldn’t find any WMD(s). He just never seemed to have his heart in it. Hans Blix without the accent. And even though last week you thought the chances were “nil” that WMD(s) would turn up, now I’m glad you’re in charge of the search and you’re going into it with an “open mind.”

How can we give up when even our Vice President says, “The jury is still out...”? If the jury is out for my Vice President, the jury is out for me. He says it’s going to take a long time to “look in all the cubby holes.” Isn’t that the truth?! Have you ever lost your glasses? This morning, I couldn’t find my glasses anywhere! I looked high and I looked low. I looked in every nook, cranny, and cubby hole and they were nowhere to be found! Just when I was ready to give up, my wife told me I was wearing them. Boy, did I have egg on my face.

But isn’t that the way it always goes? The WMD(s) are probably in the most obvious place--you guys have probably stepped over them a hundred times. It’s human! We always miss the obvious!

But we don’t have the luxury of time because there’s an election coming up. You have to find something fast or Our President is going to look pretty silly. I think you’re on the right track. Forget looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction, WMD(s). See if you can find some Weapons of Mass Destruction Programs, WMDP(s). Or maybe you can uncover a Potential for Weapons of Mass Destruction Programs PWMDP(s). Or if that turns into a dead end, I bet you could turn up a Threat of a Potential for Weapons of Mass Destruction Programs, TPWMDP(s).

Anyway, welcome aboard! Just remember, there’s always a solution. You just have to think outside the box!

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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