Friday, October 24, 2003
Senator Bill Frist
461 Senate Office Building
Washington D.C. 20510
Dear Senator Frist,
Congratulations! You got another pay raise!
I’m sure you guys (and gals) need it. Have you noticed how expensive it’s getting to live these days? The economy is in the tank (damn democrats), and we’re a gazillion dollars in debt--If we don’t take good care of our lawmakers in these troubled times, they’ll all go back to their CEO jobs, and the only people who will run for government will be a bunch of losers who want socialized medicine and maternity leave and clean air and probably don’t even want to pay for our war! Then what kind of country will we have?! No, we need Senators who will protect their own interests, because only then will they protect ours!
I’m with you when you say the Senate should be paid “consistent with the work they do.” Amen! By that standard, you guys (and gals) are way underpaid! Just this week, you courageously passed a bill to stop SPAM on the internet. Give yourself a raise! Earlier this month, you heroically made our homes safe from telemarketers calling us at dinner. Give yourself another raise! You knew we had to make the world safe from terrorism RIGHT NOW! so you passed the Patriot Act without making everybody wait around while you read it. Give yourself a raise! And the best thing you did was to give Our President full authority to declare war anyhow, anywhere he wants, without being bogged down by a bunch of liberal nitpickers whining about if it’s legal or not, or what do the French think, or whether or not we can win. Give yourself a raise!
Another thing that’s good is you only got a modest 3% raise, so you’re up to $158,000 from 154,700. By contrast, our military got a whopping 4% raise. So if a soldier with a family of four is making $20,000 a year, he gets another 800 bucks right in his pocket! I know things are tight right now, but I’m glad we’re not skimping on priorities!
P.S. Will you please send me a photo of yourself? Could you sign it and make it out to my grandson, Lester? You’re his favorite. He prays for you every night.