Tuesday, May 04, 2004
May 5, 2004
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Wahsington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
I saw some clips of you on your Michigan bus tour and I have to say--that was impressive! Your advance team was fantastic at keeping the Kerry fans out and screening the questioners, and you did a great job of reading your note cards.
The most important policy statement you made was, “What the country needs is a leader who speaks clearly.” There you go! What we don’t need right now is somebody like that Flip-Flopping Frenchman who speaks in long, boring sentences that the average American can’t follow and he always says there’s more than one side to an issue.
There is no gray! Give us black and white! Stay the course with George W. Bush: A Strong Leader Who Speaks Clearly! Like when you said:
"I believe a military of high morale is conducive to keeping the peace..."
Isn’t that the truth?! It’s time to boost morale! Give them flak jackets! Let them go home when you said! Get their families off welfare! Train them to be prison guards! Then you won’t have these little “isolated incidents” of murder and torture and humiliation of Iraqi prisoners that only 6 guards (or was it 12?) were totally responsible for and it was all their fault and they will be severely reprimanded! The main thing is we must keep morale high as we work our way up the chain of the command so we can have an atmosphere “conducive to keeping the peace.” We have to make sure those 6 (or 12) guards are held fully accountable so Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz and General Myers don’t get wrongfully blamed because how could it be their fault? They never even read the confidential Army report! Well, maybe Rumsfeld glanced at the summary.
“Nobody wants to see dead people on TV.”
Or naked Iraqi prisoners. Could you talk to Michael Powell over at the FCC? Tell him if he can get Janet Jackson’s breast off the air waves, the least he could do is fine the networks that show those awful pictures of dead people and naked Iraqis being raped and humiliated and tortured! We shouldn’t have to see that! Also pictures of flag-draped coffins. We don’t want to see them either!
“We cannot let terriers and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.''
Have you noticed the Flip-Flopping Frenchman has not said one word about terriers? He’s ducking the issue! Keep the pressure on! Can’t anybody see it’s the terriers that are making our allies hostile toward us?
"I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy."
And on June 30, you will! Give Iraq to the Iraqis! They’re free! The world is safe now!
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
If only the fish would cooperate! You made a good start by deciding to call hatchery salmon: “Wild Salmon.” Seeing as 80% of the salmon are from hatcheries, now we can take the salmon off the Endangered Species list, and we “coexist peacefully” with mutant fish.
“Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
You speak for every American. What unites us all in this Great Land of Ours is white, brown or black, rich or poor, gay or straight, our wings take dream is families!
“They said this issue wouldn't resignate with the People. They've been proved wrong, it does resignate."
I don’t know what issue you’re talking about, but what resignates with me is the issue of a Plain-Spoken President who rides on the bus just like old Harry Truman’s whistle stop tours and speaks clearly with words I can understand!
I will leave you with a quote from my Favorite President of All Time:
"The American people wants a president that appeals to the angels."
That’s you!
Strong Leader! Speaks Clearly! Four More Years!
Carl Estrada