Wednesday, April 28, 2004
President George W. Bush and Vice President Cheney
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President and Mr. Vice President,
I just want to say good luck to you two on your “Tandem Testimony” at the 9/11 hearings today. You guys sure make a great team! You seem to go everywhere together. Have you heard what the Liberal Press is saying? We’re all adults--I can tell you. They’re saying that Vice President Cheney is the brains behind the operation and Our President isn’t “articulate” enough to speak on His own.
They are so cynical! Haven’t they heard of two men “bonding” and just enjoying each others’ company?! I think you two have developed a very special friendship over your Presidency/Vice Presidency. Comrades in Arms! And NO---I don’t mean the kind of “special friendship” you see in the Castro District in San Francisco. Why can’t men just be close friends and enjoy each others’ company so much that they want to be together all the time?
Maybe you went to one of those Robert Bly mens’ workshops where you go out in the woods and get in touch with your Inner Warrior and drum and dance and chant and yell, “HO!” That would explain why you’ve bonded so much. And gotten in touch with your Inner Warrior.
Remember when Clinton and Gore used to always brag about what good friends they were? You didn’t see them testifying together at the 9/11 Commission. I think they’re still mad at each other after the last election. Also, they testified under oath. In the committee room. With the tape recorder running. With no time limits.
Which proves my point! Strength in numbers! If you had agreed to testify separately, those liberal commissioners might have played “partisan politics” and bulldozed you into taking an oath and maybe they even would have held the hearings on TV! Like Our President’s press secretary Scott McLellan said, Our President already took an oath when He was inaugurated. McLellan’s right! I remember it! Our President stood on the capitol steps with Justice Rehnquist, His right hand on the Bible, and He said, “I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help Me God.”
How long do those oaths last?
By the way, my grandson Lester is into magic lately. He bought a book on ventriloquism. It said the most common technique for “throwing your voice” is to tilt one side of your mouth up and talk out of the side. That way you can throw your voice without moving your lips. I tried it. It works!
Anyway, good luck to you two on your testimony today, and I hope you get your stories straight. I bet this will be another “bonding” experience that will deepen your friendship even more!