September 19, 2018

Senator Orrin Hatch (OWG-UT)

104 Hart Office Building

Washington, DC 20510

Dear Senator Hatch,

In the immortal words of Yogi Berra: “It’s déja vu all over again.”

Remember Yogi Berra?  He was an 18-time all-star baseball player for the New York Yankees.  Later he became and Old White Guy (OWG) who was famous for his quotes.  

Which brings me to déja vu:  In 1991, when you were defending Clarence Thomas’ honor against the “mixed-up” harlot Anita Hill, who woulda thunk 28 years later you’d be defending the honor of another Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, against another “mixed-up” harlot, Christine Blasey Ford.  Here’s what you said about Anita Hill, back in the day: 

“I think she actually believed and talked herself into believing what she said.  There was a sexual harasser at the time, according to the sources I had, and he was her supervisor, he just wasn’t Clarence Thomas.  I think she transposed that to where she believed it because she was outed by the feminist women at that time and she couldn’t change her mind after—she couldn’t change her tune.”  

And now, here’s what you’re saying about Christina Blasey Ford:

“This woman…whoever she is, she’s mixed up.”

Déja vu all over again!  I have a question:  You said Anita Hill “couldn’t change her mind.”  Really?

No offense, Senator Hatch (OWG-UT), but you don’t know women very well.  If you knew women, you’d understand that they change their minds at the drop of a hat!  Take my wife, Viola.  Please.  BA-DUM-BUM!  

My wife Viola is always changing her mind!  One day she says Sean Hannity is the worst human being on the planet.  The next day it’s Tucker Carlson.  She just can’t make up her mind!

One thing Viola has been consistent about is she hates President TRUMP worse than any of them.  But she says he’s not a human being so that doesn’t count.

Women!  You can’t live with ‘em and you can’t live without ‘em—unless you’re a confirmed bachelor like Sen. Lindsey Graham (OWG-SC).  BA-DUM-BUM! 

Speaking of Sen. Lindsey Graham (OWG-SC), let’s let him weigh in:

“Requiring an FBI investigation of a 36 year old allegation (without specific references to time or location) before Professor Ford will appear before the Judiciary Committee is not about finding the truth, but delaying the process till after the midterm elections.”

Exactly!  Even Sen. Mitch McConnell (OWG-Ky) agrees with the Democrats on that one.  Here’s what he said:

“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”

McConnell wants to wait until 2020 to pick a new Supreme Court Justice!  I can’t believe he would…. Wait a minute!  Sorry, I guess men can get “mixed up” too.  That’s an old quote from when Obama nominated Merrick Garland.  Here’s what McConnell is saying now:

“We should evaluate this president’s nominee fairly, based on their qualifications. And we should treat this process with the respect and the dignity that it deserves.”

That McConnell!  He changes his mind more than a girl!

Whoops!  Sorry, it’s so hard to be politically correct these days!  I should have said he changes his mind more than a woman.

Or maybe I should say McConnell got “mixed up.”

My point is, if this Christina Blasey Ford lady has a complaint about something she imagines happened in high school 35 years ago, she shouldn’t be worrying about FBI investigations or email hacking or death threats!  Why is she being so hysterical?  Just come before the committee and tell everybody her fantasy, then let Judge Kavanaugh testify that he didn’t do it, and then let The People decide!  Here are The People who will decide:

Chuck Grassley (OWG-Iowa)

Orrin Hatch (OWG-Utah) 

Lindsey Graham (OWG-South Carolina)

John Cornyn (OWG-Texas)

Mike Lee (OWG-Utah)

Ted Cruz (OWG-Texas)

Ben Sasse (OWG-Nebraska)

Jeff Flake (OWG-Arizona)

Mike Crapo (OWG-Idaho)

Thom Tillis (OWG-North Carolina)

John Kennedy (OWG-Louisiana)

I know, I know.  You’re saying, “But Carl, not everybody on the Senate Judiciary Committee is an Old White Guy (OWG).  The Democrats have Dianne Feinstein, Amy Klobuchar, Mazie Hirono, and Kamala Harris.  Don’t you think they’ll represent the view of the ‘fairer sex’?”

All I can say is I hope Sen. Grassley (OWG-Iowa) can keep a lid on Kamala Harris better than Sen. Richard Burr (OWG-NC) could!  Remember when Kamala became histrionic during Rob Rosenstein’s testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee?  She got really shrill and said this: 

“Can you give me a yes or no answer?” 

Rosenstein wouldn’t give a yes or no answer, but she kept demanding it!  And Burr just couldn’t control her!  

Next Monday, when Kamala Harris screams this question at Kavanaugh: “Did you attempt to rape Christina Blasey in high school?” and Kavanaugh answers:

“What happens at Georgetown Prep stays at Georgetown Prep.”

And Harris screeches:  “Can you give me a yes or no answer?”

I sure hope Grassley can be a man and shut her up!

POP QUIZ:

Match the following statements made about Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas hearings with the person who made them:

1. “There’s no question in my mind she was coached by special interest groups.  Her story’s too contrived.  It’s so slick it doesn’t compute.”

2. "He's gone through four confirmation hearings. Why would she wait to bring up her allegations until now?"

3. "How would any intelligent male who would want to date a woman say things like she alleges?"

4. "We sat down and we brainstormed this. When she brought up the pubic hair quote, we all thought, 'Why didn't she bring it up with the FBI?' And then the Long Dong Silver reference. It all seemed too cute.”

5. "She followed him from job to job. How could she do that if he was guilty of that gruesome, sexual harassment?"

6. ”I expect all of the enlightened men in our country, 'cause there must be millions of men out there who are enlightened, who also will rise up to say we cannot continue the victimization and the smearing of someone like Dr. Ford.”

A. Orrin Hatch (OWG-Utah)

B. Orrin Hatch (OWG-Utah)

C. Orrin Hatch (OWG-Utah)

D. Orrin Hatch (OWG-Utah)

E. Orrin Hatch (OWG-Utah)

F. Mazie Hirono (D-Hawaii)

Answers: 1A, 2B, 3C, 4D, 5E, 6F

To finish where I started, not only was Yogi Berra (OWG-NY) a famous baseball player who got quoted a lot, he was also a psychic like we haven’t seen since Nostradomas! Yogi made a prediction which shows it is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL that Kavanaugh be confirmed immediately!  Here is what Yogi Berra predicted: 

“Even Napoleon had his Watergate.”

Sincerely,

Carl Estrada

P.S.  Please send me a photo.  Autographed.  Make it out to my grandson, Lester.  You’re his favorite senator from the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill hearings!  He likes you even better than Strom Thurmond (OWG-Mississippi).