The oceans are rising! Forests are burning! Terrorists on the loose! Donald Trump is running amok!
This is a job for.... Carl Estrada!
 
 Sections
 

Home

New Letters

Carl 2023
Carl 2022
Carl 2021
Carl 2020
Carl 2019
Carl 2018
Carl 2017
MR. TRUMP
Hillary
Carl 2016
Brad Cahoon
Letters 2009
Letters: 2007 & 2008
YouTube
Carl's Point 2007
Carl's Point
Brad's Letters
2006 Letters
Buddies of Bob
Letters to bush 2005
close
Dear Mr. President
open
The Current Administration
open
Politicians and Presidential Wannabes
open
The Liberal Media
open
Religious Superstars
open
Celebrities
Corporations and CEOs
World Leaders
Paul's Page
 

Replies
The Complete Carl List

Links

* DemocracyMeansYou.com
* Paul Chasman Guitar Music
* Email Paul Chasman
* Order The Book of Bob Online
* My Page on the Book Marketeer
* Blue Funk Productions

* My YouTube Debut!
* Another YouTube Video!

Thursday, September 09, 2004
September 10, 2004
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

That was a close one!

Another *squink and a **blump, followed by a ***smurkle! You were speaking in Missouri when it happened. Everything was going fine--your shirt was soaked with that good “common man” sweat, and you had the crowd worked into a froth about “frivolous lawsuits” that are ruining regular folks at Haliburton and Enron. If the Slick-Trial-Lawyer-Edwards had showed up right then, the good folks of Poplar Bluff would have rode him on a rail to the nearest chemical plant and strung him to the highest smokestack! And then--the moment we’ve come to dread:

“Too many good... (squink) ...O...B...G...Y...N's... aren't able to practice their ... uhh... (squink... blump...) ...their love, with women all across this country."

(?)

My heart was in my throat! I couldn’t breathe. And then You smurkled, and I knew we had made it through the rough patch.

Glossary of Terms

*Squink--When You squint and think at the same time.

**Blump--The blank look You get when you’re stumped.

***Smurkle--A cross between a chuckle and a smirk, like when You answer a question right or when Your National Guard records suddenly turn up.

Then I thought about it, and a light bulb went on: Right again! That’s the trouble with this country! We need a law allowing the OB/GYN’s to practice their love with the women across this great land of ours! Pass a Constitutional Amendment now! Grab the high ground! This could be the “wedge issue” we’ve been looking for!

Anyway, people shouldn’t go around suing their OB/GYN’s just because they don’t like the way things worked out! My wife Viola’s OB/GYN practiced his love on her three times and we never sued him once, even though we weren’t very happy with the daughters he pulled out.

For one thing, I wanted a boy. He could have given me at least one boy. But did you see me suing him? No!

The first time our OB/GYN practiced his love on Viola, he gave us our daughter, Jennifer. She’s had more men than You’ve had reasons for invading Iraq! Then he practiced his love the second time and gave us our daughter Stephanie who never writes and never calls. Just like you! But do you see us suing him for it?

When our OB/GYN practiced his love on Viola the last time, he gave us a daughter just like Dick Cheney’s daughter. She came out gay. I’m glad we didn’t sue him for Bobbie--we ended up liking her the best. She has a steady relationship and a steady job and guess what? She and her partner Billie are going to adopt! I hope they get a boy!

Speaking of gay, I heard the Log Cabin Republicans decided not to endorse You. They said You were “disloyal” to gays. Don’t worry! After Your speech in Missouri, You’ll pick up the OB/GYN vote which will cancel out the gays you lost. Except for the gay OB/GYN’s. I wonder how they’ll vote?

OB/GYN’S FOR BUSH-CHENEY ‘04!
LOG CABIN OB/GYN’S TOO!

Carl Estrada

 

 
 
 
 
 


Home * New Letters * Carl 2023 * Carl 2022 * Carl 2021 * Carl 2020 * Carl 2019 * Carl 2018 * Carl 2017 * MR. TRUMP * Hillary * Carl 2016 * Brad Cahoon * Letters 2009 * Letters: 2007 & 2008 * YouTube * Carl's Point 2007 * Carl's Point * Brad's Letters * 2006 Letters * Buddies of Bob * Letters to bush 2005 * Dear Mr. President * The Current Administration * Politicians and Presidential Wannabes * The Liberal Media * Religious Superstars * Celebrities * Corporations and CEOs * World Leaders * Paul's Page * Replies

The Carl Letters Email Us

If you are experiencing difficulties using this site, please email us