Friday, July 30, 2004
July 31, 2004
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, D.C. 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Did You watch Thursday’s acceptance speech from the Flip-Flopping Jane Fonda-Loving, Pessimistic Liberal Senator from Massachusetts Who Has an Undistinguished Senate Record and Never Met a Spending Bill He Didn’t Like Unless It Was For Defense and Wants to Raise My Taxes?
I heard You didn’t watch it. You didn’t see any of it? When You were watching Everybody Loves Raymond and a commercial came on, didn’t You even flip the channel and peak? Or maybe You watched just a little bit during a boring part of Jimmy Neutron?
I guess You didn’t need to see it. You can always have Your aides tell You the summary. Maybe the CIA briefed You. You can always count on them! Do you think The Frenchman will be watching Your speech? I bet he’ll be taking notes.
Well, since You didn’t watch it, I should give You the heads-up that he took a shot across Your bough. Here’s what he said:
“I want to address these next words directly to President George W. Bush: In the weeks ahead, let's be optimists, not just opponents. Let's build unity in the American family, not angry division. Let's honour this nation's diversity; let's respect one another; and let's never misuse for political purposes the most precious document in American history, the Constitution of the United States.”
Don’t take the bait! He’s just whining because You’ve spent 100 million dollars on public service announcements “defining” him for the American people! Keep up the pressure! Now is the time to dig deep in Your war chest! For the next month, You can raise all the money You want, spend all the money You want, and say anything You want, and he only has 75 million dollars of government funding to last him from now until November! No wonder he’s begging You to take the high road!
And it’s easy for him to say don’t misuse the Constitution for political purposes. He’s not the president! You’re the only one who’s in a position to misuse the Constitution! Don’t let him sucker You into giving up the advantage!
By the way, yesterday I heard You say, “When it comes to choosing a president, results matter.”
That’s what I’ve been saying all along! Results matter! You have to get more votes than the other guy to win! That’s why I’ve been in touch with Your Brother-in-Arms, Jeb Bush. I briefed him on my plan for Operation Level Playing Field. It’s a four-pronged plan for Florida to: 1) Keep the electronic voting machines; 2) Eliminate the paper trail; 3) Refine the felons’ list; and 4) Hire Don King to oversee the elections. Ask him about it. He’ll give you the summary.
Results matter! We can’t depend on the Supreme Court twice in a row!
94 Days til Elections! Make Every Day Count!