Thursday, February 12, 2004
Advisor to the President
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. Rove,
The election is over! We won! You’ll never guess what picture has turned up in the media--it’s a photo of Jane Fonda (“Hanoi Jane”) at an anti-Viet Nam war rally, and guess who’s sitting just three rows in back of her? That’s right--John Kerry! And it was only taken one year before she went to Hanoi and said all those bad things!
That seals it! This is the break we’ve been looking for! Now, whenever you say John Kerry’s name, you can say, “Kerry-Friend-of-Fonda is leading the President 52% to 47%.” Or you can say, “Today, retired Army General Wesley Clark endorsed Kerry-Friend-of-Fonda for President.” Or say, “Just because Kerry-Friend-of-Fonda received a Silver Star, Bronze Star, and three Purple Hearts doesn’t mean he’s qualified to be President.”
Here’s a joke you can use--spread it on the internet:
QUESTION: What’s the difference between John Kerry and Jane Fonda?
ANSWER: Only three rows!
That’ll show him! He’s in with the heavyweights now! You can ride the Kerry/Fonda connection all the way to November. And Kerry-Friend-of-Fonda can’t lay a glove on Our President for going AWOL anymore. It turns out Bush really did show up--he’s got the dental records to prove it!
The only thing I’m wondering--are you sure that picture was taken at an anti-war rally? It looks like it might be a Grateful Dead concert.
Four more years!